Pronoun + noun

Sentences like "John told me that him and his wife are going on vacation" are common in speech but ungrammatical in standard writing. Inside the reported clause the pronoun functions as the subject, so it must use the nominative form: I, he, she, we, they.

Quick answer

Use the subject form when the pronoun is the subject of a clause. Write "John told me that he and his wife are going on vacation," not "him and his wife."

• If a pronoun appears before the verb inside the clause, choose he/she/I/we/they, not him/her/me/us/them.
• Quick test: delete the other noun. Would you say "he is" or "him is" alone? Use the correct lone form.
• This rule applies whenever a reporting verb (said, told, asked, explained, etc.) introduces a clause with its own subject.

Core explanation

When you report speech or thought, the clause that follows often has its own subject and verb. That subject must be in the nominative (subject) case. In "John told me that ___ are leaving," the blank is the subject of "are leaving," so it needs the subject pronoun.

• Wrong: John told me that him and his wife are going on vacation.
• Right: John told me that he and his wife are going on vacation.

The delete test (remove the other noun) is a fast way to spot the error: "He is going" vs "Him is going" - the first sounds correct, so use "he."

Grammar note: reporting verbs and clause subjects

Reporting verbs like said, told, reminded, warned, and asked introduce subordinate clauses that behave like independent clauses. Each clause has its own subject and verb, so treat pronouns inside them as you would in any sentence.

• "She said that he would arrive early." - "he" is the clause subject.
• "They told me that we should leave." - "we" is the clause subject.
• Objects of verbs remain in the objective case: "They invited him and his wife." Here "him" is an object, so "him" is correct.

How it looks in real usage

In professional and academic writing the subject-case form is expected. In casual speech you'll hear the object form sometimes, but writing should reflect the pronoun's role in the clause.

• Work:
  Wrong: The plan, John told me, is ours.
  Right: John told me that he and his team would handle the migration.
• School:
  Wrong: The students told me him and Sarah finished early.
  Right: The students told me that he and Sarah finished early.
• Casual:
  Wrong: Mom said him and Dad are out.
  Right: Mom said that he and Dad are out.

Try your own sentence

Test the whole sentence, not just the phrase. Delete the other element: if the remaining pronoun needs he/she/I/we/they, change it in the full sentence.

Wrong vs right examples you can copy

Here are six quick wrong/right pairs you can paste into your drafts.

• Wrong: John told me that him and his wife are going on vacation.
  Right: John told me that he and his wife are going on vacation.
• Wrong: The coach announced that me and Tom would start.
  Right: The coach announced that Tom and I would start.
• Wrong: They warned him and I about the deadline.
  Right: They warned him and me about the deadline.
• Wrong: She thinks him and Laura can finish it today.
  Right: She thinks he and Laura can finish it today.
• Wrong: The professor said me and Ana had extra credit available.
  Right: The professor said that Ana and I had extra credit available.
• Wrong: He told me him and his partner were delayed.
  Right: He told me that he and his partner were delayed.

Examples by context

Work, school, and casual examples show common scenarios and the correct fixes.

• Work examples
  • Wrong: Our manager said me and Jorge would present on Tuesday.
    Right: Our manager said that Jorge and I would present on Tuesday.
  • Wrong: The client told him and I to prioritize the features.
    Right: The client told him and me to prioritize the features.
  • Wrong: They informed me and the team that him and his group would join the call.
    Right: They informed the team that he and his group would join the call.
• School examples
  • Wrong: The teacher said him and Sara could retake the test.
    Right: The teacher said that he and Sara could retake the test.
  • Wrong: Classmates told me and Alex the study guide was ready.
    Right: Classmates told Alex and me the study guide was ready.
  • Wrong: The advisor told him and I to meet next week.
    Right: The advisor told him and me to meet next week.
• Casual examples
  • Wrong: My neighbor said him and his dog are friendly.
    Right: My neighbor said that he and his dog are friendly.
  • Wrong: She told me and Sam to bring snacks.
    Right: She told Sam and me to bring snacks.
  • Wrong: They mentioned him and I were invited.
    Right: They mentioned that he and I were invited.

How to fix your own sentence

Fixing a sentence often needs more than a blind swap. Check tone and flow after you change the pronoun.

• Step 1: Identify the clause and its subject.
• Step 2: Apply the delete test to pick nominative vs objective case.
• Step 3: Reread and, if needed, rewrite for clarity or naturalness.

Three quick rewrites:

• Original: This plan is John told me if everyone stays late.
  Rewrite: John told me that this plan will work if everyone stays late.
• Original: The assignment feels John told me now.
  Rewrite: John told me that the assignment would feel different after revisions.
• Original: Is that John told me this afternoon?
  Rewrite: Did John tell me that this would happen this afternoon?

A simple memory trick

Think about meaning instead of surface form. If the pronoun refers to the person doing the action in the clause, picture the clause alone and say it out loud.

• Say the clause with the pronoun alone: "He is leaving." If that sounds right, use "he."
• Keep a short list of reliable templates (e.g., "he and his team," "she and her colleagues," "Tom and I") to paste into drafts.
• Search your document for common mistaken patterns (me and, him and) and fix them in bulk.

Similar mistakes and spacing/hyphenation tips

Writers who slip on pronoun case sometimes also have spacing, hyphenation, or word-class errors nearby. A quick focused pass catches related problems.

• Other split words (e.g., writing "a lot" correctly vs "alot")
• Hyphen confusion (decide whether a compound is hyphenated in the context)
• Verb-form confusion (ensure subject and verb agree after you fix pronouns)
• Word-class confusion (is the word acting as a noun, adjective, or verb?)

FAQ

Is "him and his wife" ever correct?

Yes - when the phrase is an object. Example: "I invited him and his wife to the party." When the phrase is the subject, use the nominative: "He and his wife are coming."

Which is correct: "John told me him" or "John told me he"?

Use "he" when the clause contains John as the subject of a verb: "John told me that he would attend." Use "him" when John is the object: "They told him to wait."

Does the delete test always work?

Yes for choosing subject vs object in compound phrases: remove the other element and see which pronoun stands alone. It won't catch number agreement or register, but it reliably finds case errors.

How should I order pronouns and nouns in formal writing?

Place yourself last and others first for politeness and standard style: "Tom and I," "she and I," not "I and Tom."

Will grammar checkers catch this automatically?

Many tools flag this error and suggest the subject form, but it's useful to know the rule so you can choose the most natural rewrite for your tone.

Quick habit to avoid the mistake

Before you send an email or submit a paper, apply the delete test to any compound phrase with a pronoun. If the lone pronoun needs he/she/I/they, update it in the full sentence. Keep a short list of correct templates and paste them when relevant.