them selves (themselves)

'them selves' (two words) is a spacing error. The correct reflexive pronoun is the single word 'themselves'. Fix the space and the sentence will usually read correctly.

Quick answer

Never write 'them selves'. Use 'themselves' as one word when the subject and object refer to the same plural people. For singular they, 'themselves' is usually preferred in formal writing; 'themself' appears in some contexts by preference.

'them selves' → incorrect. Merge into 'themselves'.
Plural they: "They taught themselves."
Singular they: prefer 'themselves' for most audiences; 'themself' is sometimes used by individuals who request it.

Core explanation: why 'themselves' is one word

Reflexive pronouns are formed by combining a pronoun with self/selves and are written as single words (myself, yourself, himself, themselves). Splitting them into two words is a typo or styling error, not standard usage.

Rule: pronoun + self/selves = one word.
Use when the subject acts on or refers back to itself: "They blamed themselves."

Wrong: They should be proud of them selves.
Right: They should be proud of themselves.
Wrong: The players injured them selves during practice.
Right: The players injured themselves during practice.
Wrong: Don't leave the decision to them selves.
Right: Don't leave the decision to themselves.

Quick grammar: when to use reflexive pronouns (including singular they)

Use a reflexive pronoun when the subject and object are the same. Match number: plural subjects take themselves. For singular they (an individual who uses they/them or an indefinite antecedent like someone), most formal style guides favor themselves; themself is used in some communities and by some speakers.

Subject = plural they → themselves.
Subject = singular they → use themselves in formal writing; use themself only when it reflects a person's stated preference or in informal contexts.

Wrong: Each member blamed them selves for the mistake.
Right: Each member blamed themselves for the mistake.
Wrong: Someone left them selves a note.
Right: Someone left themselves a note. (Formal) - Or: "Someone left themself a note." if the writer/person prefers.

Real usage and tone: choosing between 'themselves' and 'themself'

For business, academic, or broad audiences, use 'themselves' for both plural and singular they to avoid distracting readers. Use 'themself' only when quoting someone who prefers it or when writing for an audience that accepts it.

Formal writing: prefer 'themselves'.
Informal speech/communities: 'themself' may be acceptable; be intentional and consistent.

Formal: If an applicant forgets their badge, they should remind themselves to bring it next time.
Informal: Alex called themself out for the mistake. (Seen in some communities; may be edited to 'themselves' in formal text.)

Examples: real-world wrong/right pairs (work, school, casual)

Paste these into emails, reports, assignments, or messages as direct corrections.

Work_wrong: The managers should distribute the reports to them selves.
Work_right: The managers should distribute the reports to themselves.
Work_wrong: They trained them selves on the new software over the weekend.
Work_right: They trained themselves on the new software over the weekend.
Work_wrong: Don't leave the database updates to them selves.
Work_right: Don't leave the database updates to themselves.
School_wrong: The students taught them selves the formula with flashcards.
School_right: The students taught themselves the formula with flashcards.
School_wrong: When groups present, they should prepare notes for them selves.
School_right: When groups present, they should prepare notes for themselves.
School_wrong: The lab partners recorded results for them selves.
School_right: The lab partners recorded results for themselves.
Casual_wrong: They blamed them selves for missing the movie.
Casual_right: They blamed themselves for missing the movie.
Casual_wrong: If they want to join, tell them selves to bring snacks.
Casual_right: If they want to join, tell themselves to bring snacks.
Casual_wrong: She told them selves to relax before the interview.
Casual_right: She told themselves to relax before the interview.

Rewrite help: fast fixes and alternative phrasings

Checklist: find 'them selves', confirm the object refers back to the subject, replace with 'themselves' or rephrase to avoid a reflexive entirely if the sentence feels clunky.

Direct replace: 'them selves' → 'themselves'.
Alternate phrasing: use 'have them', 'ask them to', or restructure the sentence to reduce repetition.

Rewrite_direct: Original: 'They should be proud of them selves.' → 'They should be proud of themselves.'
Rewrite_alternative: Original: 'Tell them selves the truth.' → Direct fix: 'Tell themselves the truth.' →
Alternative: 'Have them tell the truth.'
Rewrite_alternative: Original: 'The girls gave the presents to them selves.' → 'The girls gave the presents to themselves.' →
Alternative: 'The girls kept the presents for themselves.'
Rewrite_variety: Original: 'They promised them selves another meeting.' → 'They promised themselves another meeting.' →
Alternative: 'They scheduled another meeting.'

Try your own sentence

Test the whole sentence rather than the phrase alone. Context usually makes the correct choice obvious; read the sentence aloud after fixing spacing.

Spacing and hyphenation: why 'them-selves' or split lines are wrong

Common causes: manual typos, automatic line breaks that split the word, or overzealous find/replace. Never use a hyphen: 'them-selves' is incorrect. Fix line breaks so 'themselves' stays intact.

'them selves' → incorrect (spacing).
'them-selves' → incorrect (hyphenation).
If a justified layout split 'themselves' across lines, adjust the line break or use a nonbreaking space in editing software so the word stays whole.

Spacing_issue: Incorrect: 'They asked them-selves to sign up.' →
Correct: 'They asked themselves to sign up.'
Linebreak: Broken across lines: '...reassured them selves that it would be fine.' → Correct: 'reassured themselves' on one line.

Memory trick: a tiny editor's hack

Think of 'themselves' like a compound object: them + selves = themselves, like book + shelf = bookshelf. Search for 'them selves' and 'them-' followed by 'selves' to catch both spacing and hyphenation errors.

Say the corrected sentence aloud: 'They blamed themselves.' If it sounds natural, you're done.
Editor shortcut: Find 'them ' + 'selves' and replace with 'themselves', then re-read for context.

Similar mistakes to fix the whole class of errors

Writers often split other reflexives: 'him self', 'her self', 'your self', 'it self'. The same rule applies-merge into one word.

Common wrong → right pairs: 'him self' → 'himself', 'her self' → 'herself', 'your self' → 'yourself', 'it self' → 'itself', 'one self' → 'oneself'.

Wrong: 'He blamed him self.'
Right: 'He blamed himself.'
Wrong: 'Keep it to your self.'
Right: 'Keep it to yourself.'

Fix your own sentence: a three-step diagnostic

Run this quick scan on a highlighted sentence or a document to prevent the most common errors.

Step 1: Search for any pronoun followed by a space or hyphen and 'self'/'selves' (them selves, him self, etc.).
Step 2: Decide if the object refers back to the subject. If yes, use the single-word reflexive.
Step 3: Replace 'them selves' with 'themselves' (or use 'themself' only intentionally). Read the sentence aloud to confirm clarity.

Before_after: Before: 'They promised them selves another meeting.' After: 'They promised themselves another meeting.'
Before_after: Before: 'Someone left them selves a note.' After (formal): 'Someone left themselves a note.' (Or: 'Someone left themself a note.' if preferred.)

FAQ

Is 'them selves' ever correct?

'Them selves' is not correct in standard modern English. Historical or dialect texts might show variants, but avoid the split form in current writing.

Should I use 'themself' for a single person who uses they/them?

If a person explicitly prefers 'themself', use it in quoted or personal contexts. For most formal writing and broad audiences, 'themselves' remains the safer choice.

How can I find every 'them selves' in a long document?

Search for the exact string 'them selves' and for patterns like pronoun + space + 'self'/'selves' (him self, her selves). Grammar tools will usually flag these errors too.

Will grammar checkers always fix 'them selves' correctly?

Most tools suggest 'themselves' and are accurate for this error. Still, review suggestions, especially around singular they, because stylistic preferences can vary.

What if replacing 'them selves' with 'themselves' still sounds awkward?

Rephrase to avoid reflexives: 'Have them review the rules' or 'They scheduled another meeting.' A different construction can improve clarity more than a direct replacement.

Want a quick check?

Search your document for pronoun + space + 'self/selves' and fix the spacing. If you're unsure about singular they, prefer 'themselves' for formal writing and follow an individual's stated preference in personal contexts.

After replacements, read sentences aloud to confirm they sound natural before finalizing changes.