Prepositions after verbs

Reconcile with or reconcile to?

Reconcile with and reconcile to are both correct, but they have different meanings.

Quick answer

Reconcile with vs. reconcile to

Use reconcile with for restoring a relationship or bringing ideas into agreement. Use reconcile to for accepting an unpleasant situation.

She finally reconciled with her brother.
He could not reconcile himself to the loss.
The report reconciles with earlier findings.

Choose the pattern by meaning

These forms are not interchangeable. Choose the construction by meaning, not by which preposition appears most often.

1
reconcile with + person

Restoring a relationship

Use with when people become friendly again after a disagreement.

They reconciled with each other after years apart.
Maria reconciled with her parents last winter.
2
reconcile to + situation

Accepting something difficult

Use reconcile to when someone accepts an unpleasant reality.

She reconciled herself to the delay.
He never reconciled himself to working abroad.
3
reconcile with + fact or idea

Making ideas consistent

With can also introduce facts or principles that are made consistent with each other.

These results do not reconcile with the earlier data.
The policy was reconciled with international standards.

See the difference in context

The same subject can take different constructions because each sentence answers a different question.

Construction
Example
Meaning
reconcile with
I reconciled with my former business partner.
Restore a relationship or bring things into agreement.
reconcile to
She reconciled herself to the decision.
Accept something difficult or unavoidable.
reconcile with facts
The numbers do not reconcile with the report.
Match or agree logically.
reconcile someone to something
The counsellor helped him reconcile himself to change.
Help someone accept a situation.

Common mistakes

Some combinations appear in real text but do not mean what learners often assume.

Using to for restored relationships

Use with for becoming friendly again.

✕ She reconciled to her sister. ✓ She reconciled with her sister.

Using with for reluctant acceptance

Use reconcile to for accepting a difficult situation.

✕ He reconciled with the loss. ✓ He reconciled himself to the loss.

Leaving out the reflexive pronoun

Reconcile to often uses a reflexive pronoun such as himself or herself.

✕ She reconciled to the change. ✓ She reconciled herself to the change.

Quick practice

Choose the expression that matches the intended meaning.

1. After years of silence, they reconciled ___ each other.
2. He could not reconcile himself ___ the new rules.
3. The figures do not reconcile ___ the audit report.

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Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between reconcile with and reconcile to?

Reconcile with usually means restore harmony or agreement. Reconcile to means accept something difficult.

Can reconcile with be used for ideas?

Yes. Facts, data, or beliefs can reconcile with each other when they agree logically.

Why does reconcile to often use himself or herself?

The reflexive pronoun is common because the phrase means accepting something personally, as in reconcile oneself to a situation.

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