There are quite a lot of tough grammar topics in the English language, but the “Who vs. Whom” dilemma is one of the trickiest. We at Linguix.com thought it is an excellent time to break it down finally, and give you the bulletproof method of being always correct at this who/whom thing.
Subject and object
The difference between who and whom originates in the nature of the subject and object of a sentence. The subject denotes someone who acts, i.e. doing something. When you refer to the subject, using who will be the correct choice.
Simply put, “Who” is completing actions in your sentence.
Examples:
Who is going to the party with me?
Who is the tallest in the class?
Who broke the vase?
If in your sentence the person is receiving actions denoted by the verb, here we have an object. In this case, you need to use “Whom.”
Examples:
Whom did she shout at?
To whom your message was sent?
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Mnemonic
There is a faster way to decide between the two words. If you can substitute the actor in the sentence with he” or “she” and “him” or “her.” If you see that “he” or “she” perfectly fits your sentence then you need to use who. If “him” or “her” looks better than use whom.
Question
Another way of solving the task is by asking questions. If you are speaking about someone doing something (an object), then you can easily come up with a question with “who.”
Example:
Sentence: Tom is going home.
Question: Who is going home?
And vice versa, the subject of your sentence is not performing actions, and you will use “whom” in the question.
Example:
Sentence: The letter is delivered by a mailman.
Questions: The letter is delivered by whom? / By whom the letter is delivered?
The M-rule
Let’s go deeper and simplify everything even further. You can figure out what word to use by looking for just one letter. It is M.
Here is how it works: if you’ve answered the question mentioned above with “Him,” then use “Whom” – they both end with M!
If you answered “He” – you see, it ends with a vowel, then use “Who” – it ends with a vowel as well.
FAQ
What’s the fastest way to decide between who and whom?
Use the substitution test: if “he” or “she” fits, use who; if “him” or “her” fits, use whom. The M-rule is a quick reminder-if the answer ends with an M sound (him/her), choose whom; if it ends with a vowel sound (he/she), choose who.
Can I use who instead of whom in informal writing or speech?
Yes. In everyday conversation and informal writing, many speakers use who in places where strict grammar would call for whom. For formal writing, job applications, or legal/academic contexts, prefer whom when the person is the object of the verb or preposition.
Do I have to place the preposition before whom?
In formal style, place the preposition before whom (e.g., “To whom did you send it?”). In informal contexts, it’s common and acceptable to strand the preposition at the end (“Who did you send it to?”), though this may not be appropriate in formal documents.